Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Help your wife be more comfortable naked.

As a Christian, I want to start this post out and say it is perfectly ok for you to desire seeing your wife naked.  There is a catch though - as Christian men our goal should be to provide security and trust for our wives.  Just pushing and prodding your wife toward sexual intimacy isn't the Christ-like way to love your wife - in fact it is quite selfish.

Instead, you should pursue your wife by building her trust which will lead to a deep connecting intimacy for both you and her.   Here's a couple of tips to help your wife be more secure about her body and help her be more comfortable naked in her own skin.

Compliment her and let her know how sexy she is

Many women shy away from sex because they are uncomfortable with their bodies.   Every woman has something she doesn't like about her body.  She may think to herself that she is to thin, too fat, her breasts are too small or too big.   She will compare herself to air brushed models on TV and in magazines.   Your job as a husband is to compliment her, tell her what you find beautiful about her.   Let her know that you think she is sexy.

Connect with her emotionally

While men often become more open emotionally after being physically intimate, most women need to be emotionally intimate before becoming physically intimate.   Take time to invest in your wife and pursue her emotionally.  Set aside time to talk with her, listen to her ideas and concerns.   Don't try to fix all of her problems, but let her know you are there and that you will always support her and be her number one fan.

Love your wife with non-sexual touch

It is important to take time to communicate love to your wife through touch, but she needs to know and be reassured that you love her apart from intimacy in the bedroom.   Take time to give her a hug, hold her hand, kiss her, or embrace her when you get home without any sexual intention.   It is likely to drive your wife  away sexually if you only touch her in sexual ways.    Make it your goal to re-assure her that she is loved and secure in the way you touch her throughout the day.

Never criticize her body
Never criticize your wife's body.  This will be very damaging to her and confirm the messages she is already being bombarded with.  You need to do the opposite and help her battle the messages of our culture and let her know that she is truly beautiful.

Provide security and privacy for intimacy
If your wife is shy being naked, make sure you always create a secure and private environment for sexual intimacy.   For example, arrange for the kids to visit grand parents or wait until they are in bed.   Nothing may distress her more than fear of having an accidental intruder.  Even the kids knocking on the bedroom door may be enough to make her insecure.  Help her know that you treasure her body and will keep it for only you and her to enjoy.

Help her relax before hand
This could mean letting her have some quite time by herself.   Taking care of the kids for a few minutes to help her let the cares of the day subside.  A non-sexual massage may also help her relax and feel more secure as you help her release the stress and tension of the day.

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