Often times, when we think about loving our wives we think about things we can do or actions we can perform that will show her love. Many of the ideas on this blog are just that - practical actions we can take to show our wives love. While it is true we can love our wives with our actions and our words, we can also love her by pursuing a close relationship with our Father in heaven.
Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what
God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
We love our wives when we pursue closeness with God and Jesus, and when our mind and our strength is renewed by the Holy Spirit she will experience an even better love from us. We need the Father to be our source of renewal so we can love with His love.
Ephesians 5:25-27 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
If we do not receive love from the Father and believe that He loves us, it will be hard for us to pour out love on our wives. We are asked to love our wives sacrificially in the same way that Christ loved the church. Jesus had a perfect oneness with the Father, and he expressed the Father's desires in everything he did from His miracles to His sacrifice on the cross. Let us also take time to bask in the goodness of the Father, walk with Him, set your thoughts on Him and how much He has done in your life.
Practically, this renewing of our minds may take place through prayer or reading of scripture. Note that these activities done as an obligatory to do list won't necessarily bring renewal, but done under the guidance and teaching of the Holy Spirit these things can bring renewal. For me personally, I have had wonderful times with God setting my thoughts on Him and praying as I enjoy a stroll in the freshness of the morning. Remember that these activities aren't to pursue a greater holiness or higher level of righteousness. Our holiness and righteousness are complete in Jesus' finished work on the cross. Fixating on God and Jesus will help us live from His life inside of us as opposed to living from our flesh.
It does take a conscious choice to choose the things of God over the things the world lures us with. Satan wants to distract us and to keep us focused on the frail things of the world. Ask God, to help you understand fully and most completely who you are as one of His children. Receive His love, and then as God continually works in you, you will grow in your capacity to love and serve your wife, even as Christ loved and served the church.